inarticulate sparkle.

Manifested man said to me today, “You know you’re a great person, and good things happen to good people…” I responded with, “You are my good thing.”

The past 5 days have really been a test for both of us. Not sure many more negative things could’ve happened, but those things are not for the internet. I’m also not sure many more positive things could have happen, because not only am I a girlfriend (officially) but I am in love.

I have never felt for a person, the way I feel for Manifested Man. I just want to make him happy, and I want to treat him how he deserves to be treated. Somehow, I’ve already had to be the supportive, loving girlfriend before I am even technically his girlfriend. And fuck– have I mentioned that I’m in love?

Friday was a terrible day. It didn’t start off that way, but the stars aligned, and I felt helpless from states away while MM had to deal with am absolute buffet of bullshit. Saturday was more traumatic for me, I think. There was crying, and Googling and ChatGPT-ing… and when I finally got to comfort him at dinner time, that’s when it happened. I wasn’t expecting it, I’ll admit, but when he said, “I have to tell you something.” I didn’t get that feeling of dread like I’ve felt 1,000 times in the past. I knew what came next was really going to matter.

He sent me a video, and with the sincerest look on his face, all he said was, “I love you.” I have tears in my eyes just typing this, you bet your ass I cried like a baby when I saw it. Without hesitation, I replied “I love you too, [redacted]”

He was supposed to fly home that night, but with all the happenings, he pushed his flight back by a day, which was fine. I just knew time was going to drag until I got to see him.

In the morning we made plans. His flight landed at around 10pm, and with the drive home, he would be back at around 11:30. I volunteered to get to his house a bit before he’d be home, so I could play with the dogs, feed them, and I also planned to clean up a bit so he’d not come home to chaos. Waiting until it was time to go to his house was the longest wait of my life.

Seeing him walk in the door on Sunday night was so relieving. I knew everything was going to be ok. We spent the night watching the UFC America 250 fight, which was fucking great by the way, and then we… well, you know.

Is it possible that Monday morning be any better? If you could believe it, it was. Not trying to give all the nitty gritty details, but just know… it is way better in the morning.

After breakfast, I made us some pancakes (see what I did there?)

We got into MM’s truck so he could bring me home, and as we’re pulling out of his driveway, his neighbor comes outside from across the street and flags him down. “Sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to make sure all the cars coming and going were supposed to be there!” Good to have a neighbor who looks out for your house while you’re away I guess.

“Yeah no worries, I appreciate it! This is my girlfriend, Lauren.” I said a quick hello and goodbye to the neighbor, with my eyebrows raised and eyes wide… “Wow that’s the first time I’ve referred to you as my girlfriend… get it together [self] you’re 40!”

I felt really good in that moment. I don’t need a label on whatever this relationship is, and I told him that. I just know that I have been waiting for this man my entire life.