inarticulate sparkle.

Musings of a Professional Disaster.

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  • I Manifested My Man.

    I have an embarrassing confession to make. Listen, I know how this sounds. I thought it sounded ridiculous too. But the evidence is… concerning. At some point in the last 3 or so months, I became absolutely convinced that I was going to date a mna that I have ALWAYS had a thing for. Maybe…

  • I wanna go out.

    OK, sometimes I don’t want to put on real pants and brush my hair, or try new things and go new places… Ask me on the right night, and I do want to go out. I like the bar on the corner with the gravel parking lot, and the weathered yellow porch. I like the…

  • Marry Me Chicken

    Not sure about anyone else, but when I heard about this recipe, I was so fucking excited. I love chicken, creamy sauce, mushrooms…. let’s be real, I love food in general. When I finally got to try it, I was at work. For those who don’t actually know me, I used to be a police…

  • I Don’t Want To Go Out.

    The older I get, the less interested I am in trying new things. I don’t want a new restaurant. I don’t want a six-season TV series everyone insists I have to watch. I don’t want to leave my house after 7 p.m. I want Panda Express. Honey sesame chicken, fried rice and a root beer.…

  • Things I think about Daily

    Things I thought adulthood would include. The time I accidentally manifested my *boyfriend.(*he hasn’t asked me to be his girlfriend, I just hate the word situationship) How much I hate WordPress. The strange hierarchy of sports fans. I think toddlers are tiny drunk people. Scratch that, I KNOW. My AIM away messages. Things that deserve…

  • Oh, So She’s *Nostalgic*

    My TikTok feed had been inundated with AI videos of what holidays were like in the 90’s. Do I know how these started showing up? No. Do I care? Absolutely not, they’re fucking wonderful. Of course, when you double tap the first video, 9 more show up, so much like my 2009 self, I entered…

  • Where Have I Been?

    Here’s a little snapshot into 2009, when the original Inarticulate Sparkle (IS) started: -Taylor Swift released “Fearless” -Ke$ha premiered “Tik Tok” -The Hangover was in theaters -Jersey Shore premiered. -The iPhone 3Gs launched That was a whole lifetime ago! We have had like 30 iPhones and 72 Taylor Swift Eras since then. There’s also a…

  • Resurrection

    Hey friends! It’s Lauren :) The OG’s will remember… I started Inarticulate Sparkle in 2009 with a lot of opinions, and free reign of the internet. Then, life happened. A decade and a half later, I found myself trying to recover the old blog from the depths of the internet, and realized something: The website…